Naren Sivasankar ’23
Contributor
Wherever you go at each stage in your life, you meet all sorts of people, each with different interests and personalities. This is simply known as uniqueness. Uniqueness can be analyzed through different means, one of which is social interaction. Some may fit in whilst others may have a harder time. Although feeling like an outcast is universal for everyone, I have felt it at a very personal level.
In the early years of my childhood, I knew I was different. Lots of people may not know this about me, but I have autism. During those early years, everyone seemed to be into the same things such as playing in the sandpit and creating paintings. However, the isolation factor kicked in when I reached middle school and high school. From there I discovered that everyone’s palette of interests expanded and became quite selective over time. People would find their groups and engage in enticing dialogue about their interests, whether it be sports or just anything in common.
Moreover, I noticed that while my peers were very outgoing and had an easy time socializing with others, I found communication and social interactions challenging. I was the type of person who preferred to chill in their room instead of having a huge blast at parties. I turned out to be a follower rather than a leader.
Often, I would hear people have conversations about topics that I could not relate to and did not apply to how I spent time out-side of school. It was hard for me to contribute to these conversations, to the point when all my friends were fluently conversing with each other, and I would be the odd one out. I would then think to myself, “Why am I even here?” Whenever I tried to initiate a conversation, it would be an exchange of “Hi” and “How are you doing?,” at most and then die down not even a second later.
I feel and think differently, and have a different mentality than most, which played a role in my feeling emotionally and mentally distant from everyone else and the activities they partook in. Many of the barriers that I faced in my life ultimately lead to the birth of my YouTube channel “Twenty. Productions” (make sure to like and subscribe if you haven’t already).
I began taking interest in filmmaking, photography, and coding. When I started the channel, the meaning behind it was very simple: I wanted to record an event and upload it to a platform so people could watch it. But now, it is evolving into something more for me be-cause communication and social interactions were major obstacles throughout my life. I use the channel to visually tell fluent stories. Filmmaking, along with other camera work involving sports, led to me having detailed and engaging conversations with two of my close friends, Luke Perrett ’24 and Ron Cailo ’23.
As the year progressed and I continued to pursue my passions and work, it established me as “the lone wolf of the pack.” I am a person who is unique, one of a kind and stands out from the rest, and this label is symbolic of who I am as an individual.
Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. Some people may be social butterflies whilst others might prefer to spend time alone. Ultimately, you are destined to only be yourself. Your personality, strengths, interests, and other aspects are what make you unique. No-body should have to change any aspect of themselves just to gain approval or validation from another person or a group of people. In the long run, it is a million times better to stand out than to conform with the crowd. To anyone who faces any kind of barrier, just remember you are unique and brilliant the way you are and be comfortable being yourself.
All in all, my journey at St. Paul’s drew me out of my shell and encouraged me to take the strides to become the best version of myself. I am blessed to have great friends alongside an amazing support system who helped me thrive.
From a young child diagnosed with autism to a high school senior in the graduating class of 2023, I am honoured to say that I have come a long way and I will continue to make my impact. I do plan to remain behind the scenes as my privacy means a great deal to me. I strongly feel that I have left my mark on St. Paul’s and I am glad you many of you were here to witness it. Thank you, St. Paul’s, for everything in the past four years.
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